Friday, July 10, 2009

R.I.P. Charles Cox

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Charles, you were first a wannabe supplier to my team, then a supplier, then a partner in the truest and most rarely seen sense of that word in our industry; you were even nearly a colleague and a boss. Somewhere along that journey you became a trusted friend. We never saw enough of each other in those days. Dinner was often cancelled at short notice as you maintained some madcap global role with endless travel - but the time spent together was thought provoking and fascinating with madcap ideas hatched at regular intervals. You were a man of many talents - some of the statues that grace the front of the House of Commons were yours, as were large parts of the restoration of St Pauls. Somehow, despite being a stonemason by training, you ended up in IT outsourcing - there's a joke or two in their somewhere, but some other time perhaps. You even introduced me to polo - a sport that I didn't understand then, and still don't. In the weeks leading up to the horrible incident that first took the person we knew away from all of your friends, we saw a lot more of each other; I remember you'd just call or text on the offchance some of us were out and about and then join us wherever we were. Then came that incident and we thought we'd lost you. Everyone hoped, prayed even, that you'd make it back. Sadly that was not to be and now, many months later, you're gone for good. There were and are few people as genuine as you and now there's one less and that loss is deeply felt by everyone who knew you. Rest in peace Charles. I'll miss you.

13 comments:

  1. Peter8:48 pm

    what happened to Charles?

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  2. get in touch with me and i'll update you

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  3. Colleague12:48 am

    What a beautifully written tribute to Charles.  Do you know if there an obituary listing?  I am outside of the UK. thanks

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  4. Thank you.  I haven't seen an obituary, but if I see it, I'll post a link here.

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  5. Chrissie10:26 am

    <p><span>Alan</span>
    </p><p><span>What a wonderful tribute to Charles.<span>  </span>I have known Charles since we were children and have abiding memories of playing the organ in our local church and Charles playing the violin, hours spent reading poetry and talking, helping him rebuild an Austin 7 Special – and so much more.<span>  </span>Sadly, we had a long period where we lost touch and it took the death of my father in 2006 to renew that deep friendship, for it was my father who suggested that Charles consider IT after studying philosophy at York.<span>  </span>After all those years, he had not changed at all, still completely genuine, warm and immensely talented. Sadly, the reunion was brief but I know that anyone who had their life touched by Charles is the better for it and the tragedy of his loss is very hard to bear.<span>  </span>Thank you again for your words.</span>
    </p><p><span>Chrissie</span></p>

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  6. Chrissie ... thank you for stopping by and taking the time to write.  Your connection with Charles was obviously deep. I'm glad you were able to get back in touch with him.  Take good care.  Alan

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  7. Tracey7:28 am

    Alan,
      I sit here with tears in my eyes because I still just can not believe it is real that the phone will never ring again and on the other end of the line I will hear that familiar voice again, hear that sweet laughter again.
      We talked of music, politics, work, soccer, good food, the world, the changing of the seasons, holidays, the night air, the stars, life, death, love, war, art, books.... we talked as only dear friends can do...filling in each others thoughts, laughing at each others jokes. The list is far to long to be written down of all the shared memories. My life has hole in it now, something is missing and it can only be summed up in one word. Charles.  
     Charles kept me sane while I was working on the Hurricane Katrina debris clean up. He always seemed to call at just the right time or made time for me when I called, no matter what he was doing. He would call after seeing news about the area that I worked...just to say he was worried about me. His encouragement of the work I was doing kept me going when just being around so much heartache took it's toll on my soul. He was my sunshine and my ever present touchstone.
      We could talk about anything for hours. His wit, intelligence, gentleness, patience and an ability to see things not just for what they were but for what they could become. 
      I have not met a single soul like Charles. His passing has left a mark on my heart and life. I sometimes even find myself asking the question "Now just what would Charles say to you about this?"  Sometimes I laugh at the answer but always the question brings about a positive action. Just like Charles would have if he were here to do so.
      Charles is here still in each and every one of us. In our hearts, minds and souls. I am among the luckiest and blessed people on the face of the earth for I had Charles in my life. He still inspires me to better things.  
       Thank you Alan for remembering our dear Charles this way. Thank you.  Tracey

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  8. Tracey7:30 am

    "Charles,
          I know we spoke about the stars the last time we talked. You said then that "we all are nothing but stardust, sometimes we bump into stardust we were connected to before and it clicks, it's like a memory you forgot you had".  Yes you were like that to me, as if we had known each other all of our lives. I miss you my heart and soul miss you. Remember the time when I was at the beach and you called? You were so happy, so playful and full of mischief. Remember the time you were reading to me and I fell asleep? Such smiles, such joy. The changing colors of the leaves and the rain. Remember that?  Charles I wish you were here now because I really need your insight, I need my friend to sit and talk for hours, to sort things out Charles and who am I suppose to talk to about it that understood the way you did? You left such an imprint on this world and I do not even think you knew at the time you were doing it.
         Then came the day I was told about what had happened. I know in my heart that there were moments that You thought about all of us, about me. I felt it. Stardust sort of does that doesn't it Charles?  Then against all hope, all reason, You were gone from this world.
       What you left behind in my heart, in others hearts, remains Charles. We take you with us each day.
       I think of you often, I look for others who knew you, things that I might have overlooked, a news article, a picture. In some ways I guess it is just the heart still grieving it's friend and love. Looking for just one more thing to hold on to.
       I love you Charles. I miss you more each day. I know, I know, I hear you Charles...smile for me.... I try. Hugs Charles, I'll see you again, until then send some stardust my way ok? With all my heart, Tracey "

       

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  9. Daphne7:48 pm

    Does anyone know anything of Charles's familyn tree?
    I am searching for my 3x great gandfather Charles Cox born in Somerset c 1780, He and most of his descendants were stonemasons... just wondered if there was a connection?
    Thanks for reading this.

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  10. Anonymous9:43 pm

    Blessed be, my most beautiful friend. We didn't quite make to Skye for Hogmanay, but those mtns and you are in my heart forever. And yes I do think of you every time I'm under a sky full of glittering stars, just as you said. I'll always be thankful for the gifts we shared and how you changed me. With love, Calyx

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  11. I reported to Charles in South Africa as his Sales Director for EDS. We were about to change things in this geography and then the incident happened. For the short time I knew him I found him to be a risk taker and a man of his word. He is sorely missed.
    Shaun

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  12. Anonymous6:04 pm

    Its taken me a long time to find somewhere to leave a goodbye to Charles. Without intruding on family memorials, I left my own tribute in a favourite meeting place in London, but I've never really been able to share my memories and in some ways I don't want to. But seeing other people who I had some awareness of writing here, it feels like the right time.
    I looked up to and admired him so much, and learnt so much from him. About many things, and always with such wit, kindness and so much humour. Now I'm based in London, I think of him everywhere I go and its so sad that such a wonderful mind and inspiring person isn't about any more. He opened my eyes and my mind in so many ways, and helped me to fulfil my potential. I always be grateful and miss him a great deal. My wonderful more than friend. A xx

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  13. Anon ... glad you found a place to leave your thoughts. Charles was truly a special person.

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